I open my email this morning to receive the latest GAP promo coupon.

I shop at The Gap with some frequency and have for 20+ years now, but they're off my Christmas list this year.  I can deal with the"Warm is not Cool baby onesies", but this ad finally did it:  (You'll have to click the link and watch it, it's not up on YouTube yet.)

It's a bunch of GAP-clad dancers doing a cheer/dance.

Here are the lyrics:

2-4-6-8

The ad is a cornucopia of the idiocy of liberalism in one happy cheer.   

You have the pagan holiday of Solstice on par with Christmas. (Isn't it bad enough that the completely made-up holiday of Kwanzaa is included?  Can we just say Happy Holidays and call it a day?)   Then there's the envio-stupidity of the tree references and finally the total 'dis of personal responsibility. 

There's so much irony to me in the idea that telling people to give via shopping, telling them to "do what just feels right", degrading Christmas itself, is supposed to make people feel better.  Isn't the loss of spiritual depth in this country one of our problems these days?  Do the holidays need to be further "liberated" from conscience?   Who needs religion anyway when you have global warming with all of the religious practices and observances it requires?

There's more irony in a company- so committed to "social responsibility" that it's prominently featured on its website- promoting that we should all "Do what just feels right".  Isn't that what got us all here in the first place?  People spending money they didn't have, and buying things they couldn't afford...how is pushing that "socially responsible"?  This ad is so out-of-place with the times we live in.

The New York Times covered the ad campaign in a piece yesterday. According to The Times, many companies are trying to run highly positive ads like this in order to cheer people up so they'll shop during these tough economic times.  They make absolutely no mention (surprise) of the ridiculous lyrics.  The Times piece talks about the ad as reflecting the influence of popular shows like "Glee", which itself was influenced by the "High School Musical" phenomena.  The difference is that "Glee" is sort of a parody of "HSM" and pokes fun of all things PC.  The "Cheer" ad is the definition of PC and is just begging to be parodied.

But back to the reason for advertising....to sell.  Will people really buy "happy, happy"  and want to shop at The Gap with mentions of Solstice?  How many people in this country celebrate Solstice for Pete's sake?  Somebody get Don Draper on the phone.

Much of the economic uncertainly is directly controlled by the liberals in charge of Washington.  For example, what the heck are taxes going to be in order to pay for the socialization of our health care system?  Where are the jobs coming from?  (Forgive me if a "Jobs Summit" doesn't instill great confidence.) Why would you shop right now when you're looking down the barrel of a federal government who will take more and more of your money because they'll have to.... And if they decide to actually bestow all of this on us before Christmas, (or as Nancy Pelosi promised a "Thanksgiving Present",) then no amount of stupid advertising is going to change things.  Perhaps The Gap should just get back to lobbying for Cap and Trade.

The Gap also includes ten different personalized "Holiday Cheer Factory" e-cards that you can send to your friends.  The Times calls them all "fanciful", I call them weird, stupid and annoying, especially the one titled: Vegetarian RSVP which cheers: "I'm a V-E-Double G- I-E, Thank you but no meat for me"  Maybe Gluten-Free would be more au courant.

If The Gap really wants to sell cute scarves and flannel pajamas this Christmas shopping season, I might suggest a Jib-Jab version of their ad where you can superimpose faces on the dancers.  You'd have them cheering with the exact same lyrics, "You 86 the rules!  You do what just feels right! Do whatever you Wanukkah!" 

I mean, isn't that exactly what these three stooges are doing?: